Dating depression tips
So we asked 21 people what they wanted their partners to know about dating them, the challenges that their mental illnesses can bring up in their relationships, and how they hope their partners respond to the inevitable rough patches.
It's something that can cause significant stress and discomfort, and in extreme cases possibly even cause panic attacks and feelings of low self-worth as a result of social situations.
I read a lot of questions from you guys about depressed significant others.
If you make me feel like a complete self-indulgent drag that's barely worth putting up with, my first move once I'm feeling up to it will be to dump your ass and find someone who knows I'm more than worthwhile.
It can make you feel completely alone, and it can really change who you are.
When it came to my ex-boyfriend, I made a decision that some people don’t understand or that some people believe is wrong – I decided to put myself first; to end things and focus on me, and to not have him in my life anymore (his depression wasn’t the only factor here, by the way). A lot of people feel that their partner, depressed or not, is the person for them, and they want to make it work. Depression can be crippling, but depressed people need loved ones by their side.
Specifically, the difference between "My boss yelled at me at work today, ugh" and "My brain is an imbalanced chemical cocktail poorly mixed by a bartender-in-training."2. A goddamn spiritual pep talk about why a legit mental condition I have is basically my fault because I don't bow and murmur "Namaste" to the mouse that lives under my fridge in the winter every night before bed is not gonna get you laid. You have one (1) free pass to make that mistake early in our relationship, but that's it. In the winter, for instance, there will be very little sex unless you're cool with me just lying in the fetal position and doing it in the harsh glow of a therapy lamp. I can't always explain why I feel how I feel, so talking through the feelings like a normal couple might is sometimes twice as frustrating. If I am trying various medications, I might seem weird for a couple weeks, but it's just a phase until I find the right one. If you stick with me through the low points, I'll be the best and most loyal girlfriend you've ever had. I'll be like the golden retriever of girlfriends.14.
And when I try to explain that to you, you might get mad at me because it seems like I'm minimizing your feelings. If you continue to insist that the answer to my lifelong genetic mental disorder is Soul Cycle, don't let the door hit you on the way out, k? It's sort of a combination of dating and playing Russian Roulette with my brain juice. You don't have to read my mind — you just have to take cues. If I ask you to please go get me an iced coffee and a tuna melt and don't yell at me for eating in bed, please do that, if you're not busy. But you should still feel as lucky — (#blessed), if you will — to have me as I do to have you.